A few days ago, I was given the sad news of the passing of one of my favorite officiants in Toronto — Clayton Graves. I found out through Dina and Jeffrey, who are getting married this weekend. Clayton was supposed to marry them. I’m still in shock.
I’ve known Clayton for my entire professional career as a photographer. He was such an awesome guy and had a lot of interesting stories to tell. He talked frequently about his nieces and nephews. He asked how Jeanette and the kids were. He was extremely personable and took time to get to know you. Although I’d only see him for maybe 30 mins a weekend, we saw each other so frequently that he remembered my name and also those on the team.
I have only good memories of Clayton. As I write this, I am sifting through all the weddings I’ve photographed and hoping to compile a bunch of images to give his family showing them how happy he was doing his thing. Here’s a few frames from Lin Lin and Alan’s wedding. He was a class act. He’d always ask me if there was anything I needed him to do/announce during the ceremony to help me..like telling the ‘uncle bobs’ to stay out of the center isle ! He was always looking out for us haha
This was his trademark move…turning the brides hand over so the we can photograph the ring on her finger ! Classic Clayton !
Below is his obituary:
CLAYTON CECIL GRAVES Passed away suddenly on May 16, 2010 at the age of 65. Clayton was a multi-talented man of prodigious energy, infectious enthusiasm and great warmth. After graduating from Queen’s University, he started his work life as a high school teacher, then became an editor and co-author of best-selling textbooks, including the enduringly popular language arts anthology CONTEXTS, used in classrooms across the country for decades. In his recent work as a teacher of English as a second language, Clayton was passionate about working with new Canadians and was editor of TESL Ontario and TESL Toronto newsletters. Clayton was a singer, serving as longtime bass soloist at St. Luke’s United and Bloor Street United Churches, as well as performing, over the course of his musical career, with Tafelmusik, Opera in Concert, Toronto Chamber Society and the Stuyvesant Singers. Clayton was also a champion curler, both as a teenager and later in life. Most recently, he had become a wedding officiant for the city of Toronto, a vocation that inspired his passion for the harp, which he was learning to play. Clayton was the devoted partner of Martin Houtman, the beloved son of Cecil (deceased) and Inza Graves, the loving brother of Beverly Houston (Jack Carey), Myron (Rita), Floyd (Donna) and Gary (Angelica Fox) and the cherished uncle of Jason, Andrew, Holly, Vanessa, Kenton, Gavin, Ian, Sean and Kevin. Clayton will be much missed by the entire Graves and Houtman/Cicuta families and all who knew him. The funeral will be held at Rosedale United Church, 159 Roxborough Dr., on Friday, May 21st at 2 p.m. Cremation has taken place privately. In lieu of flowers or donations, the family would welcome contributions to a memorial music performance being planned.
Anyways, I don’t know what else to write. I’m still in disbelief…Please keep the Graves and Houtman/Cicuta families in your prayers.
Clayton, you are going to be deeply missed by myself and the entire team. I just want to thank you for being an amazing colleague and a good friend to us all. We are very blessed to be able to spend some time with you over these years.
-Joee
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